What a day!! Or should I say night?!?! Just few hours a go I finished chat with him. I thought it's gonna be a plain chat. What I mean with plain is when nothing serious and just simple talking. Specially after he gone on vacation for about 2 weeks. And it was. Well until he said that line again. The 'I love you' thing.
Its not that i don't like it. I mean.. what kinda gal who's not feeling happy when a man said that he love her (lots of time). Even if you don't like the person itself, i'm sure you'll still like the fact that someone actually love you. Ok.. back to my feelings. Like I said.. it's not that I don't like it. It's just I don't wanna be in that situation again. You know.. full of tension because of one principal issue. It was so frustrating. So when I finally made up my mind and he finally accept it, I felt relief. One problem gone and finally can enjoy my chat with him again (without tension) while i'm thinking and working on my own family issues.
But last night he said about his feeling and his point of view on our relation. Generally, I get his point although my head still try to absorb everything he said. And before i know it, he suddenly said 'ok.. from now on you are my lover' then start asking me whether i'm ok or not if he visit me on Dec.
You know what.. i kinda freeze for a while.. and then i just join into the game. I mean.. i've been through so many things in life, and problem also and most of them wasn't my mistake. I didn't cause it but yet I have to responsible for it plus i have to fixed it. So if saying yes to his idea is a mistake (hope not) so be it. At least it's my own mistake, my own risk and consequences.
So please help me ALLAH.